Feeling disappointed is a feeling everyone is bound to experience.

We all will encounter situations where things won’t go your way. And it’s frustrating when we invest ourselves into relationships, businesses, and opportunities that don’t turn out as we like.

But frustration, anger, and sadness will not change the outcome. And if we don’t address and manage our feelings appropriately, disappointment can grow into depression and even despair.

Here are a few tips to that I have used to help me take active control of my feelings and ameliorate your pain.

1. Don’t Repress Your Feelings of Disappointment

One of the worst things we can do to our health is to repress negative thoughts and feelings. While keeping to oneself and suppressing anger might temporarily work, it won’t take long until we lose control and lash out.

That’s why it’s important to find healthy mediums to express our feelings freely. While many options exist, I want to focus on a single medium: writing. (If you want to start a blog, here is how to start a personal blog).

Writing down your feelings using ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy) is a proven way to help us cope with negative thoughts and feelings. Not only can it help us come to terms with our feelings, but it can also give us the opportunity to take proactive action.

2. Actively Accept Your Feelings of Disappointment

Accepting unwanted outcomes is not always easy. That’s why it’s hard for people to “just deal with it.” Acceptance doesn’t come first either. It is normally preceded by denial.

Believe it or not, entering into denial is the first step in the coping cycle. It’s a natural part of adjusting to the unwanted outcome. But staying in the denial phase and not moving on can make it difficult for us to live a purposeful life, take new risks and explore new opportunities.

The way out: Active Acceptance.

Let’s take a quick look at this technique and how it works:

Accepting disappointing outcomes starts on the level of speech. For example, one can say: “I acknowledge my feelings of disappointment AND I know that it’s often hard to deal with such feelings. But if I am honest with myself, dwelling on disappointment won’t help me move forward.”

The beauty of active acceptance is that it helps us come to terms with disappointment so that we can begin to do something effective about it. Sometimes, there is a lesson behind disappointment and sometimes there is not. The key thing is to try to allow time to pass and to focus on what’s positive and let go of the negative.

3. Feeling Disappointed? Laugh at Yourself

You feel disappointed when the outcome doesn’t match up your expectations. But continuing to feel angry or sad about it won’t change the outcome. It has already happened.

Please realize that we don’t always have all the answers and we won’t always get it right. We all get it wrong, and we get it wrong more often that we would like to admit. You’re fallible my friend, just like me, and everyone else.

One of the best way to cure disappointment is to laugh at yourself. Laughing at your mistakes instead of feeling angry is a sign that you’re willing to move on.

Find humor in your imperfections and recognize that you’re not here to never make mistakes. You’re here to makes mistakes and grow wiser.